If you could see yourself exactly as others see you—even just for one moment— you would see things you would want to change. As a result, you would be a better leader, and better able to achieve your aims.
Why? As described in previous posts (see Related Posts, below), we all have beliefs and behaviors that unintentionally interfere with our own goals from time to time. Whether we are preoccupied and don’t listen deeply, talk too much without realizing it, remain too aloof and don’t let others know us, are unintentionally arrogant—there are thousands of different ways we create obstacles without realizing it.
Unchecked, these subpar beliefs and behaviors accumulate in our blind spots—we aren’t aware of them, but others can see them clearly. Therefore, I (like other leadership development people) suggest you consult with trusted advisors from time to time and ask them to help you see what you can’t see. It’s important to ask: “What am I not seeing about my own leadership that, if I address it, could make a positive difference?”
But what can we do to monitor / self-correct our own blind spot?
Looking at what you are consistently critical or intolerant of in others is one important strategy.
For example, perhaps you can’t stand it when people lack follow-through on a commitment. Maybe you are really bothered by people who tend to be know-it-alls. Or perhaps you are frequently bothered by people who tend not to take responsibility.
You may look at all of these as reasonable: “I have standards for other people – I expect them to do what they say they will do.”
And if it’s very occasional, or with a specific person, then it may well be fair.
However, if you notice it frequently, and are bothered by this with a number of other people (not just one person,) then chances are there’s a specific issue lurking in your own blind spot.
What you are probably seeing is the shadow it casts on others; you are, in a sense, shadow boxing with your own blind spot.
So if you are often annoyed by a lack of follow through in others, then maybe your blind spot issue is your own inability to keep commitments. Often what we find objectionable in others as a rule, or pattern, are things we need to address for ourselves.
Make a list of the things you find unacceptable in others as a pattern or rule, then use that list as a mirror to examine your own blind spot. Journal about it, or ask for help to ferret out the specific issue.
While what you find may be hard to accept at first, it’s going to make a positive difference as you incorporate the lessons it has to teach you—and that's great news for you, and for those you lead!
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Related Posts:
Cluelessness is a Goldmine: Practical Ways to Leverage Your Inner Dummkopf
Asking for Help 101 -- Weakness or Strength?
