In A Quiet Mind, I wrote a very short blurb about the power of listening without mental agendas or expectations, when a higher degree of focus and creative leadership are needed.
After some reflection, I realized that I wanted to take that a step further . . .
When we engage our heart along with that quiet mind, we can take in a much broader spectrum of information in the same conversation. It's as if we look at a situation with normal vision, then deliberately add infrared—we see more of what was already there, simply by bringing online our capacity to see it.
Why bother? Listening with your whole heart helps you ask more insightful and skillful questions,
gain a deeper view of a person or situation more rapidly, problem-solve more creatively and effectively, and achieve. It also allows you to be human.
Many of us were taught, trained, or learned through experience that the workplace is for rational thought and reason only. Many run that script every day (“please check your heart at the office door, and don't get all touchy-feely.") Men in many cultures are indoctrinated into that way of thinking from early on, and it has certainly influenced women in the workplace.
Yet it's been said: "Every business decision IS a personal decision." Whether we consciously invite it into the situation or not, we all have a heart, and it's got a large influence on us, and, as leaders, on others. We can make it a partner and work with it, or fight it / ignore it / suppress it—in the end, it will have its say.
At the same time, the heart is an amazing compass for what is important and true. It has a level of wisdom that our conscious mind is simply unable to perceive or process. Call it "Emotional Intelligence," or EQ, as does author Daniel Goleman, or simply admit that it’s an integral part of all of us.
Your heart will have its say, and it's certainly a greater source of insight than the conscious mind alone. When you engage it as part of listening with a quiet mind, you tap into a deeper well of knowledge. It's necessary for your heart to be engaged to be completely present for what is going on, and to be a great leader.
So if I’ve done a good job convincing you of its value, by now you may be wondering how to listen with your heart.
The answer is, just try it--bring your heart online when listening to someone. If that doesn't immediately work for you, keep trying it, and consider one or all of the following:
1. Picture your heart as open and an active part of your listening, as you listen;
2. Give someone the same level and type of attention as if it was someone you love, telling you something deeply important to you both;
3. Before you have the conversation, figure out why, at the level of your heart, you really care to be there.
When you make your listening more heartfelt, you will "hear" more than you can when you are “rational you.”
I invite you to try listening with your heart today, and to comment (below) on your experiences!
