Leaders are called many things these days: coaches, mentors, managers, trainers, tutors, you name it. But it’s confusing – not to mention inaccurate – to use such words interchangeably.
For instance, while both imply a certain level of leadership, to coach is quite a different thing than to lead. More often than not, leaders coach, not the other way around. And even then, coaching requires more forethought than a mere slap on the back and a pat “win one for the Gipper” speech.
But the need for coaching – particularly our best people – is clear. According to a study by Saratoga Institute and PricewaterhouseCoopers HR Services, too little coaching and feedback are among the top reasons good people leave organizations. Coaching takes a significant investment of time and energy on the part of an organization and its leadership.
Part of the reason coaching is so rarely done and, when done, done wrong is because we confuse coaching (which is asking results-oriented questions, listening deeply, then asking the next question that arises naturally, which helps the coachee find their own answers) with quite the opposite: which is telling.
As managers we want to help, and we think the way to do it, is to, well, get sucked into preaching to our capable, motivated people, with what I call the “Four Temptations”:
1. Playing Doctor: To diagnose the problem or issue and impose your own diagnosis and treatment on your “coachee.”
2. Storytelling: To tell a “success” or “nightmare” story about a similar experience and how you yourself resolved it.
3. Backtracking: To ask unhelpful questions like “why” or probe about the past.
4. Short-circuiting: To provide your “answer” to the question or issue, offering a better/faster/smarter way.
True coaching requires the person we coach to be capable of finding their own answers, which suggests “who to coach.”
Successful coaching can only occur with those who are both capable and motivated to learn and achieve. It is more than just a coach coaching, but someone being coached actually listening, responding, learning and enacting that makes for a successful coaching experience.
Leaders who attempt to coach people that do not fit this profile are likely to be disappointed in their efforts. Coaching and feedback are important to the retention and growth of good people. Being selective about where you invest your coaching efforts as a leader is good for you, and for your organization.
---------------------------------------------
Goal question(s):
Have you coached your best people lately? Was the experience effective? Or disappointing? Will you approach coaching differently after evaluating this tip? How?
---------------------------------------------
Comments are welcome--click the comment link, below.
