Forgiving is a simple and practical way to find new solutions to painful problems.
Perhaps it's counterintuitive to talk about forgiveness in the context of leadership. In my
experience, it's a powerful practice. Gnarly issues among people, organizations, and even nations--ones that interfere with effective teamwork and even peaceful coexistence--carry on over time in part because of an unwillingness to forgive.
Many confuse forgiveness for excusing unacceptable beliefs or behavior. It is not up to me to excuse you or not excuse you. Such judgment of others is a subjective, useless product of ego, lacking any practical value. What has happened, or failed to happen, is already in the past. Hanging on to it--either deliberately or unconsciously--is a way of holding it in the present, investing in the problem, not the solution.
Forgiving propels you beyond the past / the story / the problem, and begins to generate a new and different future. Failure to do so is a costly investment in the status quo.
First forgive yourself. Hanging on to disappointment, shame, or blame corrodes your ability to lead. It may not result in a dramatic flare up, but is certainly responsible for weakening your foundation of clarity and self-respect. It results in decisions and actions that are adaptive / coping in nature, rather than clear-headed fresh choices.
For a leader, merely "coping" is a compromise, needlessly trading off potential and effectiveness.
Remember when you forgave someone close to you -- when in your heart you finally understood that they did the best they could, and you decided that what's past is past. It's a major step in adult development.
Now take the new freedom you found in that situation and imagine what it can do for your work with others, your leadership, and organization. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and move on. It's a worthy journey!
